Today I am 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant; exactly at the point where I gave birth to my last set of twins 18 months ago. I didn’t go into labor last time so I am not exactly expecting to deliver today, but it is an interesting day for me; wondering what if? When we went on our tour of the new hospital we were told that any babies born before the 35 week mark automatically went to the NICU. So my goal since then has been to just make it to 35 weeks at least. I really want to avoid the NICU. I really want to hold my babies right after they are born. I want that immediate skin to skin contact. I want to offer the breast as soon as possible. All things that did not happen last time.
Tomorrow I hit the big 35 weeks, so praise the Lord on that one. Last time I had an emergency c-section because my blood pressure was steadily on the rise. However, this time my blood pressure has been perfect throughout. One doctor put me on a regimen of 1 81mg aspirin and 1000mg of calcium per day, because there is some evidence that this can help keep blood pressure down. So I don’t know if that is why my blood pressure isn’t going high this time or not.
I have a lot of painful contractions this time around too, but they don’t seem to be affecting my cervix. Oh, but I wouldn’t know because the OBGYN practice that I switched to wont examine me in any way. It’s ridiculous. The last doctor who saw me thinks I may just make it to 38 weeks. Gasp! On the one hand, hurray! On the other, oy vey; I am tired and huge!!
The great debate lately has been whether I will attempt a VBAC or just a c-section. I am very torn. Most of the doctors in the practice do not recommend a VBAC. I have too many risk factors: twins, second set of twins, twins only 18 months apart, previous c-section; to name a few. On the other hand, one doctor told me that my risk factors only raise my chances of a ruptured uterus to slightly above 1%. Ah, but that percent still exists; and that is scary. I want to do a VBAC to have a full pregnancy plus delivery experience. But is it really worth risking my life or my children? I just don’t want to be selfish about it. My one hope is that I can carry long enough to go into labor on my own and at least get to experience that.
I have no delusions that labor is this magical painless thing that I am missing out on. I want the epidural etc. I just want that connection with my children if that makes any sense. For all I know this may be the last time I am pregnant (but hey why stop at 4 kids?) and I just want to know labor and to see my babies immediately after, and be given the chance for skin to skin contact and breastfeeding. All things I was robbed of last time.
Bottom line, we are blessed with our children. I am about to give birth in the next couple of weeks. My scheduled c-section is July 31. I am thankful for this and I simply pray for a smooth delivery; whatever the method.